Topical Chat, August 16, 2006

Good to see T.O. not up to his same antics in Big D … hope he takes the team back to the stone-age.

1. On an Ohio congressional candidate who has suspended her campaign after she and her husband were charged with domestic violence:
“However, they were just offered multi-year contracts by the WWE.”

2. On a recent study that reported that the that U.S. citizens recognized the Seven Dwarfs more-so than the Supreme Court Justices:
“You know, I've often laid awake at night wondering about this very question. Hopefully, we'll get a report soon to see if the Trix Rabbit is indeed more recognizable than Tony the Tiger."

3.On a man in Nebraska being arrested for the 226th time:
“His upcoming book, titled “How Not to Become a Successful Thief” comes out in September.”

4. On a 21-year-old man who suffered severe burns to his face and head when he ignited a mortar-style firework that he taped to an old football helmet and placed on his head:
“Luckily, no brain damage was reported … actually, no brain was reported.”

5. On a report that x-raying shoes at the airport doesn’t detect explosives, BUT it does make people feel more secure:
“I wonder how secure people will feel once mandatory body cavity searches are instituted.”

6. On a man who tried to use a railroad rail as a pillow and got his head run over by a train:
“Apparently, he was unable to find any porcupines nearby.”

7. On a new craze – teens “ghost-riding,” or leaving the wheel of a moving car and walking, running, or dancing beside it:
“Why can’t this kids just go back to tried and true methods of idiocy, like huffing?”

8. On the city of Phuket (in Thailand) running out of marriage certificates:
“I hear prostitution is the most popular job here.”