Topical Chat, August 17, 2006

Mercifully, this week has come to an end.

1. On a group of Croatian soccer fans forming a human swastika at a soccer game in Italy:
“Just goes to show you that you can’t spell class without ‘ass.’”

2. On a program that turns your cell phone into an Etch-a-Sketch:
I’m waiting for the program that turns my car into a horse-and-buggy.”

3. On a man who offered his kidney to a restaurant waitress:
“Apparently, he was a little short on cash.”

4. On a family that was evicted from an apartment for praying too loudly:
“The landlord, Beelzebub was unavailable for comment.”

5. On research from Africa that states that dolphins and whales are dumber than goldfish and don't have the know-how to match a rat:
“The scientists also reported that the moon was indeed made out of cheese.”


6. On a planeload of Polish tourists getting a scare when their Turkish pilot mistakenly landed at a NATO air base by mistake:
“Sounds like the opening of one helluva Polish joke.”

7. On scientists from the University of Nebraska Medical Centre reporting that hot dog meat may contain a DNA-mutating compound that can boost the risk of cancer:
“In response, the Phillies have announced more Dollar Dog nights at the ballpark.”

8. On a street in New Zealand that is called “Shit Street:”
“Sounds like the name I give the Skuykill Expressway.”