Topical Chat, September 27, 2006

Thank goodness, we’re about 4 days into Autumn, and I’ve already gotten my first cold of the season (give me pity laughs for these headlines!).

1. On a three-year-old boy who bought a pink $16,000 Nissan on EBAY:
“Michael Jackson delivered the car personally."

2. On a 73-year-old used car salesman who allegedly ended an argument with a customer by pulling out a machete and whacking the man's arm:
“I’m not sure which is more disturbing, the fact that the guy used a machete, or the fact that he brings a machete to work.”

3. On the wife of a major league baseball player getting plunked by a foul-ball off the bat of her husband:
“I wonder if she finally got the hint.”

4. On a car outfitted with cameras, tracking capabilities and a remote engine-kill system designed to catch auto thieves being stolen somewhere in Dallas:
“The U.S. government is interested in purchasing 10,000 of these.”

5. On a former Australian politician calling Australian men metrosexual knobs and tossbags:
“I can’t believe he wasn’t re-elected.”

6. On an agency in Germany that will, for a fee of $20, breakup with your girlfriend/boyfriend for you:
“For an extra $50, they’ll even sleep with them.”

7. On a woman in Southern California who gave birth to her own grandson:
“I know California is very liberal, but this is ridiculous.”