Topical Chat, September 13, 2006

Forgive me for posting this a day early, I’m going to the Who concert tonight – I will be far too tired to do anything tomorrow.

1. On a furniture company in Chicago that offered free furniture if the Bears were able to shutout the Packers:
“I had no idea Brett Favre had a furniture company in Chicago.”

2. On a bicyclist who was hit by a car, and, while waiting for an ambulance, was hit by another car:
“This guy should probably take up another hobby.”

3. On a thief who made off with nearly 350 pounds of pork meats:
“Man, what a pig!”

4. On paramedics responding to a fatal fire in west Toronto ending up arriving at the scene half an hour late because a dispatcher mistakenly sent them to the opposite end of the city — to another street with the same name:
“They probably would’ve gotten it right, had it been the hockey arena.”

5. On the new fad of cocktail parties for dogs:
“That is doggone ridiculous.”

6. On people killing stingrays as revenge for the death of Steve Irwin:
“That’s like people killing the drug lords, hookers, bartenders, and fast-food restaurant managers because of Chris Farley’s death.”

7. On Residents of Nyandarua village in central Kenya being full of relief, after a local sect's doomsday predictions failed to materialize:
“However, they are still concerned of the predictions that Tom Cruise’s child is the anti-christ.”

8. On Detroit schools canceling classes indefinitely:
“I think they might be overreacting a bit to yet another Lions loss.”

9. On an anti-drug essay winner who is now a four-time felon:
“I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson here … DON’T write essays in school!”