Topical Chat, April 28, 2006

Let’s Go Flyers … clap, clap, clap-clap, clap!

1. On a 14 1/2-foot crocodile who mauled a chainsaw a worker was using Friday to clear up debris left by a tropical storm that lashed northern Australia:
“Man, Mick Dundee got taller.”

2. On a German court ruling that stadium operators can claim damages from streakers at matches:
“What kind of damages do streakers inflict anyway, besides visual ones?”

3. On a PA man who intentionally drove a delivery van loaded with potato chips through the lobby of a state police barracks:
“The cops were ‘incapacitated’ for hours, trying to ‘clean up’ those chips.”

4. On a couple in Cincinnati, who stole a 55-inch television, but their getaway car was too small for it, raising suspicions – and eventually getting them pulled over by the cops:
“Man, I knew we should’ve stolen a bigger car to steal that television set.”

5. On a dog that is being accused of jumping up or against a stove for remnants of lunch, and causing house fire in New Hampshire:
“Guess we know who’s in the doghouse now …”

6. On NASA officials saying that removing roadkill will make astronauts safer by reducing the number of vultures in the area:
“It will also reduce the number of trailer homes nearby.”

7. On West Virginia police finding a stolen car with a potbellied pig in the back seat:
“It is reported that the cops were still fighting over ‘that mighty fine pig.’”

8. On thieves who stole 150 plum trees from an orchard in eastern Hungary:
“Those thieves must’ve been really ‘Hungary.’”