Topical Chat, April 26, 2006

Hmmph, a must-win situation for the Flyers. Thank goodness the NFL draft is this weekend.

1. On four bus loads of students from O'Brien Middle School who made a four-hour trip to Six Flags Marine World in Vallejo, Calif., only to find the amusement park's gates locked:
“Next year, if the students are good, the school promises a tour of the Enron facilities.”

2. On a Pennsylvania woman with 97 cents in her bank account, using two checks totaling 63,000 to “buy” a new house, and then being arrested on fraud and forgery:
“Sounds like a reputable mortgage company doing a good background check.”

3. On British police officers who responded to a burglary call at a pub, apparently seeing paranormal activity, with toilets flushing themselves:
“A spokesperson said the police would respond once their hangovers were gone.”

4. On authorities in China's commercial capital ordering a woman who became irate after she was given a ticket for jaywalking to spend 10 days in jail:
“15 years ago, she would’ve become part of the street.”

5. On a father fed up with his son for spending too much time on the computer, allegedly firing shots at the monitor:
“Thank goodness the son didn’t have a girlfriend … no telling what the father would’ve done.”

6. On a man, son, and neighbor who were swallowed by cesspool in Long Island, N.Y:
“They must’ve been at a Yankees game.”

7. A man in Hayward, CA, who spent five hours naked and stuck in the chimney of his stepmother's home being arrested on suspicion of being under the influence of drugs:
“That’s like saying that people are under suspicion that Paris Hilton might have a sex problem.”

8. On a bride's stepfather being charged with stabbing the woman's father and brother at a wedding reception in Ohio:“What do you mean, no Abba??????”