Topical Chat, December 6, 2006

Will Taco Bell ever come up with a funny commercial again? Just wonderin’.

1. On Swedish border patrol officers who are in trouble for keeping a photo collection of "exceptionally beautiful" women that passed through their checkpoint:
“This is probably not an issue in Turkey.”

2. On a woman who found a bat in her Christmas tree.”
“Shame she didn’t find the balls to go with it …”

3. On World chess champion Vladimir Kramnik losing his final game in a match against computer program Deep Fritz:
“Just wondering who gets to name the computer programs, and why they can’t come up with something more creative like ‘My Balls, Your Face.’”

4. On a sidewalk in Brooklyn caving in, swallowing a woman:
“That must’ve been one hungry sidewalk.”

5. On women in Saudi Arabia, who are now able to sell cars … but still can’t drive them:
“Do they use price discrimination against men?”

6. On Arab TV watchers getting frank, detailed sex advice from a conservative Muslim woman:
“It seems they stop listening when the subject of foreplay comes up.”

7. On a deer hunter who shot a horse in Wisconsin:
“Eh, he was really just ‘horsin’ around.’ After he realized what he did, he ‘hoofed’ it outta there.”

8. On a safe-sex advertisement on the campus of the University of New Hampshire that reads, "Whether you're the catcher or the pitcher, always wear a glove!":
“The people who created the advertisement decided to eliminate the second sentence – ‘And make sure to use a big bat.’”