Topical Chat, November 29, 2006
I have a wise friend who once said, “Good God – there is not a better food on this Earth, than the tater tot.”
1. On a man who broke into a barn on Thanksgiving morning, spray-painted three pet goats and scattered pages of pornographic magazines on the floor:
“You know, these kinds of activities really ‘get my goat.’ Oh, that was baaaad.”
2. On an Oklahoma couple that is celebrating their 77th wedding anniversary:
“Unfortunately, they need to be reminded every 10 minutes or so.”
3. On the International House of Pancakes (IHOP) changing its policy about asking for I.D.:
“You must be this tall to eat our pancakes.”
4. On a homeowner stopping an alleged burglar by beating him into submission with a football helmet:
“I’m just hoping the burglar was Terrell Owens.”
5. On a suspicious man who was spotted with a pocket full of screwdrivers leaving a women's restroom:
“I’m guessing the guy was just looking for a quick screw …. Ba-da-bing!”
6. On research that reports blue walls make employees feel down, while yellow walls make them feel happy:
“What about gray cubicles with gray walls and no windows … I’m not saying this is what I have to endure, but … o.k., maybe I am …, but I’m f**kin’ happy, dammit!!!”
7. On Pfizer Inc. saying Tuesday that it will cut its U.S. sales force by 20 percent, or 2,200 people, as part of a cost-cutting program to transform the company into a more nimble organization:
“Why don’t they just develop a prescription drug that makes it more nimble?”
8. On Fidel Castro not attending his the start of his 80th birthday celebration:
“I guess they couldn’t dig him up in time.”
1 Comments:
1. Those jokes were horrible, Los! What the hell is wrong with 'ewe'?
2. More power to them. Long marriages are a rarity (kinda like Los's humor).
3. What? Are they spiking the boysenberry now?
4. Still whining about the whole T.O. thing Los??? Sheesh.
5. That one actually made me laugh.
6. Ha! At least I have a window!!! Granted, it looks out over some kind of utility building but hey! Window!
7. Even though they cut their force, they'll still charge the same for the drugs. No 20% cut there... greedy bastards.
8. El Presidente!
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