Topical Chat, November 22, 2006

Topical Chat, November 22, 2006

I just wanted to wish you all a happy, healthy, and safe Thanksgiving! Gobble, gobble!

1. On a man who set the Guiness world record by building a nearly 5,000 pound rubber ball, out of more than 175,000 rubber bands:
“This sure beats the hell out of Bert’s paperclip collection on Sesame Street.”

2. On police searching for a man who gave a $20 tip to a gas station clerk he had just held up:
”What nickname do we give this guy – the ’Polite Pilferer?’”

3. On an Ohio artist who created a Gingerbread Nazi art display:
“I especially found the Gingerbread Goebels a little tasteless.”

4. On a quadriplegic man who has filed a complaint in Los Angeles Superior Court against the Hermosa Beach police claiming he was thrown to the ground after a dispute over who would pick up his dog's feces:
“Wow, the LAPD just can’t seem to catch a break ... Joe Friday is probably turning over in his grave.”

5. On a 95-year-old woman who is preparing for her final exams at a University:
“I had no idea one had to prepare for a death certificate.”

6. On a bootleg version of the O.J. Simpson “If I Did It” video possibly appearing on the internet soon:
“Yeah, right. And the next thing you’ll tell me is that Michael Jackson might have a child fetish.”

7. On reports this Thanksgiving that there has been an 81% increase in lost luggage via airlines:
“Is Mayor John Street in charge of this, as well?”

8. On new evidence that indicates the CIA may have been involved in the Robert Kennedy assassination:
“Why do I keep hearing the John Mellancamp song ‘This is Our Country’ when I read this?”