Topical Chat, November 15, 2006

Someone needs to inform the NCAA that the game this weekend between Ohio State and Michigan should be for the national championship … just sayin’.

1. On a Chinese “Love Boat” cruise that is looking for wealthy men, and “desirable” women:
“So, Yao Meng has his own yacht now?”

2. On a Wisconsin sanitation worker who found $1,900 attached to a discarded desk at a city scrap heap claiming he's followed the rules (turning the money over to police) and now deserves the money but the city won't give it up:
“Isn’t the official currency of Wisconsin cheese?”

3. On two jail officers being fired after authorities say they urged an inmate to strip and run naked around his cellblock in exchange for a piece of cherry pie:
“This must’ve been in the outtakes of The Shawshank Redemption.”

4. On a talking Jesus doll being turned down by the Marine Reserves' Toys for Tots program:
“However, toy guns and KFed cds are still o.k.”

5. On a lady that sells methane gas from her cows’ farts for $45,000.
“Hey Taco Bell, I think I have an idea for you guys …”

6. On KFC unveiling a new logo with the Colonel wearing a red apron, and using the name “Kentucky Fried Chicken” again:
“My question is this – was anybody ‘fooled’ into thinking that KFC wasn’t fried?”

7. On Texas Tech coach, Bob Knight, slapping one of his players on the chin:
“More proof that coach Knight has mellowed – 15 years ago, he would’ve punched him so hard, that the kid would’ve had to pull his pants down to brush his teeth.”

8. On financially troubled Clear Channel trying to restructure its company by eliminating overnight DJs in most of its local radio stations:
“This company really has the Midas touch – basically ruining Terrestrial radio (in the U.S.) in every market it is in, AND running XM into the ground … I think the owner of the Knicks may be interested …”