Topical Chat, November 27, 2006

Hope you are all enjoying your turkey-salad sandwiches, AND the fact that Notre Dame lost again.

1. On PETA Mistakenly targeting an Alaska church that doesn't include live animals in its nativity scene:
“I guess in this day and age, wise-men are becoming increasingly endangered.”

2. On multicolored panda poop paper yielding big profits in Thailand:
“This gives a whole new meaning to the term, ‘this is good shit.’”

3. On a man who ate 4.8 pounds of turkey in 12 minutes:
“That story is just plain … fowl.”

4. On a boy who called 9-1-1 forty-nine times from his cell-phone during one of his elementary school classes:
“Apparently, the substitute teacher was Michael Jackson.”

5. On Hong Kong mulling introducing green cardboard economically friendly coffins:
“With that kind of logic, Saddam Hussein was ahead of his time – not only did he not even bother using coffins, but he was reported to have been using economically friendly bullets on his victims.”

6. On rumors that O.J. Simpson may have committed the murders of his ex-wife and Ronald Goldman, because he was on Prozac:
“Good thing he wasn’t taking weed at the time, who knows how many people he would’ve killed.”

7. On a college professor who finally decides to retire … at the age of 100:
“Back in my day, we didn’t have things like … well … everything.”

8. On a person who purchased a used car, and found 22 pounds of pot under the back seat:
“I’m telling ya, GM is really going overboard, trying to sell their cars.”