Topical Chat, October 16, 2006

It really felt like Autumn in Philly this weekend … especially considering it was cool/cold, and the Phillies weren’t playing.

1. On new research that claims that milk containing alcohol could prevent food allergies in babies:
“Who cares about the rise of liver disease at an early age, Billy likes his spinach!”

2. On a teacher who is reprimanded for letting students use the trash can instead of peeing their pants during a lockdown:
“Good to see this school with its priorities in order …”

3. On a Colombian town unveiling what they claim is the world's largest soccer ball, measuring 1.9 meters tall (6 feet tall) with a circumference of nearly 6 meters (20 feet):
“This is what happens when cocaine is your major export.”

4. On police dogs that are being muzzled to stop them biting and injuring suspected criminals they are chasing:
“On a related note, cops are trading in their guns for French ticklers.”

5. On a massive flaw in a new generation of speed cameras that means motorists can avoid fines and points on their license simply by changing lanes:
“Good to see this new technology was properly tested … by our government, probably.”

6. On an Egyptian woman, who was pretending to suffer from labour pains, giving such a poor performance at customs that a quick hand-search revealed her "bundle of joy" to be 48 cellphones:
“I guess she was really just ‘phoning’ it in.”

7. On the stadium phenomenon, The Wave, turning 25 years old today:
“Can’t wait for the Philadelphia drunken Santa snow toss to turn 50!”

8. On Norway becoming embroiled in a dispute over toilets and the nature of masculinity - the matter blew up because a primary school headmistress tried to ban boys from urinating while standing up (claiming that when boys sit down to pee, it creates less mess):
“You start by sitting to pee … the next step is getting your wrinkled star filled with man-goo.”