Topical Chat, October 11, 2006

I’d like to make a personal plea to all politicians in my district, to please stop sending me crap EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!!!!!

1. On three workers at a Burger King restaurant being arrested after two police officers discovered that the hamburgers they ordered were sprinkled with marijuana:
“The cops became suspicious after going through two boxes of donuts at the Krispy Kreme next door.”

2. On a Georgia woman being convicted of riding a horse while intoxicated:
“She was repeatedly warned to ‘quit horsing around.’”
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2550620

3. On Ottawa County having to pay about $40,000 to correct an embarrassing typo on its Nov. 7 election ballot: The "L" was left out of "public:"
“Unfortunately, nobody noticed that election was spelled with an r.”

4. On an Australian man who completed his law degree … at the age of 91:
“Luckily, they got him his diploma before the casket was closed.”

5. On Jennifer Wilbanks, the runaway bride, who is suing her ex-fiance:
“Sometimes the herd must be thinned for the good of everyone else …”

6. On a Wisconsin politician who is promoting the fact that she slept around with Green Bay Packers stars:
“She said she can confirm that the Packers both suck and blow.”

7. On a man suspected of stealing a loaded beer truck being nabbed after a police dog followed a trail of beer and clothes to find him hiding on top of a porch:
“Thank goodness he didn’t steal a dildo truck.”

8. On the University of North Dakota filing a lawsuit with the NCAA because it mandated that the University take “Fighting” out of it’s “the Fighting Sioux” name – and allowed Notre Dame to keep “The Fighting Irish” name:
“Seriously, do I really need another reason to hate Notre Dame?”