Topical Chat, July 7, 2006

Friday’s – they taste like a perfect cut of filet mignon (and for those vegetarians, I guess they taste like a fine cut of ... zuchini?).

1. On the casinos getting ready to open again in Atlantic City:
“Thankfully, they reopened before senior citizens began to realize they could spend their social security checks on other things.”

2. On a man who was arrested twice in one day on alcohol-related charges, for illegally operating an airplane that veered off a runway and later for driving his pickup while drunk, authorities said:
“After his second arrest, he asked if anybody had a boat … apparently, he was looking to try for the DUI grand-slam.”

3. On a man in Delaware who sustained burns to his hand and face after using gunpowder to light to up his barbecue grill Monday night:
“Unfortunately for all mankind, the guy survived, keeping alive the slim possibility that he might actually procreate in the future.”

4. On anew billboard advertisement for Sony's white PSP causing consternation across the US videogaming community - the ad shows a white model dressed entirely in white threateningly grasping the face of a black model, and next to them are the words, "PlayStation Portable. White is coming":
“Wow, the guy who developed the Uncle Ben’s and Aunt Jemima characters seems to be making a comeback.”

5. On ice cream maker Haagen-Dazs teaming up with the postal service in Austria to launch a series of ice-cream flavored stamps - the adhesive on the back of the stamps will be infused with flavors such as Cookies & Cream, Macadamia Nut Brittle and Strawberry Cheesecake:
“In a related note, Austrian stamps will be required to provide nutritional information.”

6. On reports that Taiwan plans to test-fire a missile capable of hitting China:
“An island attacking a country with more than 1 billion people seems about as sound as another Michael Jackson nose job.”

7. On a Berlin bus driver who crashed into a parked car after being hit in the head with a beer bottle by a passenger who had disputed his views over Germany's defeat by Italy in their World Cup semi-final:
“Hopefully the bottle was from the official beer sponsor of the World Cup, Budweiser (how can this happen in Germany?)”

8. On the spike in gas prices being blamed on the Korean missile tests:
“How many excuses do these rich oil companies need?”