Topical Chat, June 19, 2006

The U.S. did us proud with their effort against the Italians on Saturday. It is a shame that the referee was apparently Italian as well.

On the Phillies losing 2 of 3 to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays this weekend:
“Thankfully, the Phils get a break this week, as the Yankees come to town.”

On a 75-year-old northeast Ohio woman who is recovering from injuries she received this week when a deer got into her home and attacked her:
“Looks like those ‘deer John’ letters finally caught up to her.”

On a British government agency recently deciding to spend the equivalent of $33 million over 10 years to encourage women and minorities to become fishermen (or fisherwomen) because too many anglers are white, male and middle-age:
“Good thing the government chose this instead of attempting to encourage its population to learn how to use a toothbrush.”

On a Philadelphia man who paid a parking ticket …52 years after he got it:
“Sounds like we have a front-runner for the next mayoral election in the city.”

On a New York man who stole clothes from a store in the mall and then tried to elude cops by hiding in a Dunkin Donuts:
“This is about as smart as trying to elude bears by hiding in a large vat of honey.”

On the mayor of a central Ohio city who violated a city employee policy he helped create by sending an e-mail that promoted his son's part-time beverage business to city workers:
“Ohio State is inquiring about his availability with regards to the Dean opening.”

On a motorist in Richmond, Texas, who was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance after he was caught with two rocks of crack cocaine he had stashed in his ice cream dessert:
“Ben and Jerry’s is inquiring about the new flavor.”

On a billboard in Texas that honored an a student’s eighth-place finish in the national spelling bee … unfortunately, the billboard spelled the student’s name wrong:
“Apparently, the billboard was located on the University of Texas’s campus.”