Topical Chat, June 14, 2006

I can’t believe the Stanley Cup is going to Carolina – especially, with 3 ex-Flyers on that team.

1. On a police pursuit (in Utah) ending when the suspect's dog, not happy about being bounced around in the car, bit its owner on the face:
“Man’s best friend, my ass.”

2. On thieves swiping more than 270 copies of the Cheaper by the Dozen DVDs from Wal-Mart stores in Beckley, MacArthur, Summersville, Lewisburg and neighboring Virginia shortly after it was released on DVD in late May:
“Thank goodness they didn’t steal any of the Herby, Fully Loaded DVD’s.”

3. On school officials in New Jersey ripping a page out of hundreds of students' yearbooks because it contained a photograph that showed a student's underwear:
“However, they chose to keep the pictures from the ‘Huff-olymipics” day in.”

4. On a man who was charged with stealing five newsstands in Philadelphia:
“Fortunately, the Daily News and Inquirer did not report any drop of sales.”

5. On an Illinois school bus driver who is facing misdemeanor charges after police say the driver sold bags of marijuana to a teenage passenger:
“Otto the bus driver changed jobs?”

6. On a Virginia teen who set the North American record by reciting 10,980 digits of pi:
“Unfortunately, he is not expected to see any female ‘pi’ in the foreseeable future.”

7. On a woman who was sentenced to prison in PA for making her 6-year-old daughter steal a volunteer fire company's fundraising jar, a crime that netted the family $1.85:
“Wait, did Brittany Spears move to PA?”

8. On a school prank in Long Island, in which a car was put on the roof of the school:
“This was better than the ‘impregnating 50% of the class’ prank from last year.”