Topical Chat, June 21, 2006

Congrats to the Hurricanes and more specifically to the three former Flyers that Philadelphia decided they no longer needed. Way to go Bob Clarke.

1. On a thief who stole a World Cup ticket from a woman's handbag and was caught after sitting down to watch the game next to his victim's husband:
“I had no idea the Polish were still in the World Cup.”

2. On a woman who came home to find a young bear eating oatmeal in her kitchen:
“What wasn’t reported was that the lady’s residence was a shoe.”

3. On a 98-year-old woman who's been frying fish and chips for 80 years and says her longevity is down to never eating anything else:
“Nobody commented on her scaly skin, however.”

4. On Mercedes-Benz creating a car without a steering wheel – you steer it with a joystick:
“Unfortunately, initial testers got confused with the brake and gas pedals, which are now A and B buttons.”

5. On a Florida beagle that won an award for using her owner's cellphone to call 911:
“More impressive is the fact that the operator could speak K-9.”

6. On a dog with a craving for doughnuts being blamed for starting a house fire in a city north of Vancouver:
“This is what happens when your owner is a cop.”

7. On a 21-year-old Georgia man who was arrested after trying to buy drinks with a checkbook he found at a bar - the checkbook's owner was the bartender serving him:
“Word on the street is that the Bulldogs are inquiring to see if the guy has any eligibility left to play quarterback for the University.”

8. On a woman in Iowa who’s search for her biological mother led her to a co-worker of hers:
“Now that has got to lead to some uncomfortable water cooler talk, doesn’t it?”