Topical Chat, June 26, 2006

I think Philly got rid of the wrong baseball team (andno, it didn’t take me until now to figure that out).

1. A former handyman has won more than $400,000 in alawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-yearerection:“The wife, however, would like him to withdraw thelawsuit for obvious reasons. When interviewed, the guysaid he was most dissatisfied with the procedurebecause his pee keeps hitting the mirror.”

2. On a sheriff’s deputy in Florida getting firedbecause he posted inappropriate comments onMyspace.com - he posted a profile on the Web sitewhich included a photo of him in uniform, but it alsoincluded mild curse words and comments about drinkingand women:“And to think law enforcement thought it was wise togive this rocket scientist a gun.”

3. On twin traffic accidents at the same spot thatkilled seven people in far-west China on Friday,including three doctors and two policemen who died inthe second while they were investigating the first:“I’m sure it is going to be hard to replace theseguys, considering China has a population of 1billion.”

4. On a bank robber in California that the FBI hasnicknamed “The Enormous Ears Bandit”:“Do you think this guy gets razzed by his othercriminal friends because of this nickname?”

5. On German police rescuing an American soccer fanwho was lost in Hanover and unable to find his hotelagain after helplessly wandering around the city formore than six hours after a match, federal police saidFriday:“Impossible. There aren’t any American soccer fans.”

6. On a beer advertisement in a bar for Pabst BlueRibbon that cause the bartender of the bar to call thepolice, because he thought the blinking red light wasa bomb:“Are they sure it was because of the blinking lightsand not the astoundingly terrible brew?”

7. On an 88-year old man who died last week, and wascremated and buried inside his clarinet at the requestof his daughters:“I guess we should be thankful he didn’t play the skinflute.”

8. On Singapore, famous for its spotless streets,initiating a training program to boost the status andskills of the city-state's toilet cleaners:“Good thing they are tackling this important issue andignoring the terrorists”