Topical Chat, May 22, 2006
The curse of Philly continues with Barbaro’s gruesome injury … but, does anybody realize he is only a horse?
1. On a gas station malfunction in Indiana that cut the price of gas to 29-cents-per-gallon for about 90 minutes at one gas station:
“Is there any way we can duplicate this ‘malfunction’ here?”
2. On a civil war era fort, Fort Montgomery, being sold on EBAY:
“The civil-war era kids who played in this fort are being sold separately.”
3. On the National Weather Service contemplating issuing a new category, Category 6, for Hurricanes:
“This type of hurricane also rapes and pillages.”
4. On a 10-year-old girl in Pensacola, FL, who drove off with her guardian's sport utility vehicle with a toddler and a 5-year-old on board and crashed the vehicle into several cars:
“Several New York City cab companies are vying to hire her currently.”
5. On a practical joker in Olympia, Washington, getting a taste of revenge when friends turned part of his apartment into a human-sized hamster cage, complete with shredded newspaper bedding, a six-foot exercise wheel and a giant water bottle:
“Man, what a rat … get it?”
6. On the University of Illinois warning students of attacking deer (after numerous attacks reported on campus):
“The situation got so bad, some of the deer scored higher in the final exams.”
7. On an 81-year-old in California who bowled his first perfect game:
“He then took a dump in the microwave.”
8. On a person in New York who stole a gumball machine from a police station:
“He is being cast for the next Oceans Eleven movie.
posted by Los @ 9:25 AM
9 guys/gals who rule
9 Comments:
1) It probably still cost like $40 to fill up the tank
2) Sold like slaves?
3) Cat 6, eh, that's CraZy
4) I didn't steal the car till like 16, she got me beat..
5) Rat bastard
6) The students issued an apology letter.. Dear deer,
We're sorry
7) I don't get the dump in the microwave, please explain
8) The sad part is that they are making ocean's 13.
The guy was so old, he didn't know what he was doing.
Anytime you have to expain your joke, it's not a good joke.
Yes. It's just a horse. But he doesn't deserve to be killed cause he broke his leg. Horses can survive fine on 3 legs. The owners just need to put him out to pasture.
1. Seriously, and lemme get a bunch of gas cans while we're at it.
2. I wish I could buy a castle on Ebay, then I'd enact the law of fiefdom and claim a bunch of subjects and begin raising an army... for my own purposes.
3. "This type of hurricane cuts in front of you at the line in the supermarket, dates your daughter for all the wrong reasons, drings soda from the 2 liter bottle instead of pouring a glass, scratches itself in public, pees on the carpet and blames it on the dog, banged your sister, your wife, AND your mother, kicked a puppy, cherry-bombed the toilet, voted for Bush, shot JFK, thinks reality TV is real, drives slow in the fast lane, and steals your mail."
4. Best game of bumper cars she ever played!
5. meh, Karl.
6. Hey, Deer want equal education opportunities too!
7. "Then he promptly had a heart attack and died."
8. Oddly enough, crime is HORRIBLE in that precinct.
The curse of Philly continues with Barbaro’s gruesome injury … but, does anybody realize he is only a horse?
I thought he was freakin royalty, he isn't???!!! LOL!
i saw people standing outside the "hospital" in tears holding signs, where the hell do these people come from???!!
m
Your satire brings me laughter and tears! Thank you!
So if I drive to IN and get gas for $.29 per gallon, have I really saved any money all the way from PHX??? LOL...Yeah NO!
I don't care who you are, This is funny! Get'er done!
Saw and heard about that Barbaro injury, that was pretty gruesome. I must give you guys in Philly props, Citizen's Bank Park is incredible. I visited it this weekend with Smokin Steve, as I was one of the Fab Five that came down from Boston. That parks blows Fenway away.
I didn't know you had this many friends, Karl.
I don't. It's an illusion.
Post a Comment
<< Home