Topical Chat, May 15, 2006

It’s mid-May, and the Phitin’ Phils have won 13 of their last 14 games – looks to me like we should be expecting snow any day now.

1. On Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue dancing with students during an after prom party for students of Brookwood High School, at the Governor's mansion in Atlanta:
“The mayor passed out after doing whippets on the front lawn.”

2. On two teenagers who were charged with setting fires in suburban Washington after they bragged about the blazes on MySpace.com:
“The teens are expected to be offered scholarships to Florida State.”

3. On a woman in Idaho finding a heart-shaped potato:
“I wonder if that one can light two light bulbs.”

4. On more than $31,000 in drug money that was seized by Somerville police but is now buried forever under tons of garbage in a Rochester, N.H., landfill after officers accidentally stashed the cash in a broken desk drawer that was being discarded:
“Accidentally? Those cops are pissed because they are out $31,000. On a related story, plans are being set up for a treasure hunt.”

5. On four men in California who were arrested for investigation of trying to burgle a medical marijuana clinic after someone used a garden hose to climb down from the roof:
“One of the suspects died as he tried to escape on what he thought was a magic carpet.”

6. On a dead cow stuck on a West Fork River (in Charleston, WVA) dam that is creating a stink as the residents of West Milford are upset no agency will step forward to haul the carcass out of the river:
“Sounds like a load of bull to me.”

7. On a western Kansas sheriff defending his decision to order a deputy to kill an ostrich that had wandered onto Interstate 70 near Colby, despite protests from a truck driver who called the shooting "inhumane and senseless:"
“Prior to being shot, the ostrich had knocked itself out by trying to bury its head in the concrete.”

8. On the BBC network apologizing to its viewers for a studio mix up that resulted in a cab driver appearing on live television as an expert on Internet music downloads:
“Now, here’s John the plumber with the weather.”