Topical Chat, December 13, 2006
Ah, another unlucky day … be sure not to drive your car under a ladder while a cat is painting.
1. On Indiana police charging a teen with driving 142 mph in a 55 mph zone:
“Rumor has it the teen got lost, and found himself in Indiana, and couldn’t get out of the state quick enough.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2720732
2. On a judge on dismissing a harassment charge against the teenager, who was accused of repeatedly "meowing" at his neighbor, 78-year-old Alexandra Carasia:
“The neighbor, in return, agreed to stop giving the teen catnip.”
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2720743
3. On agents with the U.S. Border Patrol in Yuma finding an alligator stashed in the suitcase of a California man who was on his way to Phoenix:
“Sounds like a ‘croc’ to me.”
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2717448
4. On a Kansas man who called 911 to report an armed robber stole $1,000 of marijuana he was trying to sell at his home:
“Toto, we’re not in Kan … oh, crap, we are still in Kansas … and man could I go for a Whopper right now.”
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2717444
5. On the Heisman Trophy being shipped home because airport security not allowing Troy Smith to bring it on the plane:
“And I always thought the stiff-arm worked well …”
http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/wireStory?id=2719731
6. On a Texas lawmaker who wants to legalize laser sights for legally blind hunters:
“Have you ever come up with an idea that you knew was a can’t miss idea?”
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2717174
7. On a lady who decorated 52 Christmas trees in her house:
“I have an idea for those blind hunters …”
http://www.koat.com/holidays/10509952/detail.html
8. On NASA engineers who are studying whether space shuttle Discovery's heat shield was damaged during launch, and are now recommending against any extra inspection of the spacecraft's belly and wings:
“From the ‘What Could Possibly Go Wrong’ department.”
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/wireStory?id=2719940
posted by Los @ 7:59 PM
3 guys/gals who rule
3 Comments:
The dreaded Wednesday the 13th.
1. Stephen Jackson's driver making a fast getaway from the post-Pacers game strip club trip.
2. The 78-year-old neighbor, in returned, agreed to stop showing the teen her pussy.
3. U.S. Border Patrol: stopping Mexican alligators at the border.
4. May they share a cell.
5. I wonder if airport security still gives veterans crap about wearing their Purple Heart and other medals.
6. Next they'll legalize laser steering systems for legally drunk Kennedys.
7. Speaking of drunk Kennedys ...
8. There's exactly one risk-free shuttle operation, and it's REALLY boring for the astronauts to stay on the ground.
1. On Indiana police charging a teen with driving 142 mph in a 55 mph zone:
“Rumor has it the teen got lost, and found himself in Indiana, and couldn’t get out of the state quick enough.
Indiana didn't want him then?
2. On a judge on dismissing a harassment charge against the teenager, who was accused of repeatedly "meowing" at his neighbor, 78-year-old Alexandra Carasia:
“The neighbor, in return, agreed to stop giving the teen catnip.”
The 78 year old wasn't charged with supplying the latest designer drug then?
3. On agents with the U.S. Border Patrol in Yuma finding an alligator stashed in the suitcase of a California man who was on his way to Phoenix:
“Sounds like a ‘croc’ to me.”
Since that Aussie guy died there's a lot of homeless crocs out there
4. On a Kansas man who called 911 to report an armed robber stole $1,000 of marijuana he was trying to sell at his home:
“Toto, we’re not in Kan … oh, crap, we are still in Kansas … and man could I go for a Whopper right now.”
So much for entrepreneurs. Thought we were Capitalists? Any left at a discount?
5. On the Heisman Trophy being shipped home because airport security not allowing Troy Smith to bring it on the plane:
“And I always thought the stiff-arm worked well …”
You don't want to know what is on planes. I check the Dangerous Goods before they fly out of Heathrow. 90% DG's go on passenger flights. Flammable, Toxic, Radioactive, Infectious you name it it's under your feet when you fly. Why? $ that's why. Take a boat.
6. On a Texas lawmaker who wants to legalize laser sights for legally blind hunters:
“Have you ever come up with an idea that you knew was a can’t miss idea?”
What the fuck they hunting? Eyes?
7. On a lady who decorated 52 Christmas trees in her house:
“I have an idea for those blind hunters …”
I don't see it. oops
8. On NASA engineers who are studying whether space shuttle Discovery's heat shield was damaged during launch, and are now recommending against any extra inspection of the spacecraft's belly and wings:
“From the ‘What Could Possibly Go Wrong’ department.”
If man was born to fly....
ps: The Drunk Punk Radio Show goes out Saturday midnight (GMT). Dunno the time your place but if yer want to listen to me rambles n sounds instructions how on me blog. Might use some of your stuff if yer don't mind.
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