Topical Chat, July 12, 2006
I figured I’d give you guys the links to the news stories, so you would believe their validity.
1. On New Jersey slashing funding for higher education, curtailing money for municipalities, and raising taxes in a political fight which led to a government shutdown – but the new budget did restore erectile drug aid (http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/15017026.htm):
“I knew New Jersey was the place for big dicks.”
2. On a new smokers-only airline, founded by a German businessman, looking to start flying in 2007 (http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3729503a4560,00.html):
“The airline is said to be doing a special promotion – free caskets for any people who die in-flight.”
3. On a man with no eyes deemed a dangerous driver by a British court (http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006320121,00.html):
“That’s like saying people with no heads make great beauticians.”
4. On an electrical chain losing £12 million after it ran a campaign offering customers who bought TVs their money back if Italy won the World Cup http://news.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?tid=609&id=1008342006):
“Maybe they should’ve used Ghana and not Italy.”
5. On a company’s stock that apparently dropped 40% because employees were watching the World Cup instead of closing deals (http://texturbation.com/blog/2006/07/11/world-cup-blamed-for-40-stock-dive/):
“Shame Kenneth Lay passed.”
6. On a woman who poisoned her Marine husband in order to get his money from his life insurance policy to get her breasts enlarged: (http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=nation_world&id=4355345):
“Maybe she should’ve used the money for brain surgery.”
7. On China reporting a fresh outbreak of foot-and-mouth disease, with 51 head of cattle affected in the nation's northwestern Qinghai province (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/11072006/323/china-reports-new-outbreak-foot-mouth-disease.html:
“I have two feet and a mouth – am I at risk?”
8. On a truckload of Busch beer spilling from a truck in Michigan (http://www.ourmidland.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=16902596&BRD=2289&PAG=461&dept_id=472542&rfi=6):
“Apparently, the truck was first thought to be a sewage truck.”
posted by Los @ 9:13 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
“I knew New Jersey was the place for big dicks.”
Best line you've had in months!
HEYYY-OHHHH!!
Hey Los, you can set up a link using the !a href! (change the exclamations to carats) html tag. If you don't understand, I can show ya.
1. I agree with Smokin'. That's actually a good joke... it's gonna snow... SNEW!
2. So I guess they don't drop down oxygen masks from the ceiling during problems?? Just smoke masks?
3. He had to go to court to be deemed dangerous?? The DMV/MVA couldn't figure this one out on their own??? HE HAS NO FREAKING EYES.
4. Holy crap! Bet whoever came up with that ad campaign got fired REAL quick.
5. It was Lockheed wan't it?
6. Vanity, thy name is chick with big titties.
7. No Los, these animals have "foot AND mouth" disease... you have "foot IN mouth" disease. DUH!
8. Passersby thought that a lot of people had urinated on the road, until they saw the Busch truck, then realized that a lot of people had urinated into the truck which THEN spilled onto the road.
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