Topical Chat, July 10, 2006

Congratulations go out to the Italians for keeping the
World Cup away from the French.

1. On Italy winning the World Cup:
Kind of shocking how the only team not to lose to
Italy in the cup was the United States … does this
mean we get some sort of honorable mention?”

2. On organizers of a music festival In London having
had to change their fancy dress circus theme after
some ticket holders told them they had a phobia of
clowns:
“To remedy this, he organizers refused to invite any
politicians.”

3. On a Chicago-area teen being in critical condition
after shooting himself in the groin while trying to
holster a gun in his pants:
“Gives new meaning to the term ‘pocket rocket.’”

4. On a new book that is being published on complaint
letters both funny and fascinating, that were written
over centuries to the mayors of New York City:
“Why didn’t the Yankees win the World Series this
year? … Fugetaboutit.”

5. On an 89-year-old man who was taken to the hospital
in serious condition after he accidentally drove his
car into his neighbors house … a little over a year
ago, he accidentally backed over his wife with his
car:
“Good thing no laws are in place to prevent old people
from driving.”

6. On a Louisiana couple that accidentally grew
cuculoupes, a half-cucumber, half-canteloupe hybrid:
“Sounds like the beginning of a Penthouse Letters
story … not that I know anything about these.”

7. On a 19-year-old Milwaukee man who died performing
a dangerous stunt at a party – he was electrocuted
after reaching off a fourth floor balcony to touch a
power line:
“Sounds like a ‘bright’ individual.”

8. On a paper that Eric Harris, one of the Columbine
High School gunmen, prepared on the danger of guns in
schools more than a year before carrying out a deadly
attack on teachers and fellow students, receiving an A
from his professor (this was released to investigators
a couple of days ago:
“I guess the professor never got to the chapter on
foreshadowing.”