Topical Chat, March 26, 2008

Anyone get the feeling that the political elections in the U.S. would probably make more sense being held under a big-top?

1. On trustees for the government's two biggest benefit programs, issuing their once-a-year analysis, saying that the resources in the Social Security trust fund will be depleted by 2041, and that the reserves in the Medicare trust fund that pays hospital benefits were projected to be wiped out by 2019:
“With a sluggish housing market, and gas prices rising faster that Governor Spitzer’s hooker tab, it’s certainly good to hear good news for once …”
http://www.startribune.com/business/16978011.html

2. On a Finnish tourist being detained after allegedly stealing a piece of volcanic rock from one of the massive Moai statues on Easter Island:
“Looks like this guy is ‘finnished …’”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23793523/

3. On a United Nations food program issuing an emergency appeal for donations as the amount of food aid sent abroad from the United States is plunging:
“You never notice us until you need us, do you?”
http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Top_News/2008/03/25/un_food_program_seeks_500m/9007/

4. On a drunk pregnant woman being arrested when officers found her twin 2-year-old daughters there partially clothed amid feces and broken glass:
“Shouldn’t the ‘de-flowerer’ be arrested for ‘assisting’ her in becoming a mother …”
http://www.newsday.com/news/local/longisland/ny-likid255625298mar25,0,5185529.story

5. On the Pentagon announcing that it mistakenly shipped non-nuclear ballistic missile components to Taiwan from a U.S. Air Force base in Wyoming:
“You know, nothing really amazes me about our government anymore …”
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-missile-parts-pentagon-taiwan-story,0,3604999.story

6. On the world's tallest man having trouble finding shoes, a bike, and condoms:
“I’m pretty sure he could contact that clown at McDonalds for a really nice pair of red shoes …”
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/irresistible/15692947/detail.html

7. On Georgetown having a class on the Harry Potter books:
“THIS is why it costs $50,000 to go to Georgetown …”
http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/books/03/25/cnnu.potter/index.html