Topical Chat, March 3, 2008

We’ve “Marched” into a new month … God I love being “punny.”

1. On a man being accused of assaulting his stepdaughter with a garden gnome:
“Obviously, I absolutely detest the crime, but I’m curious about his choice of ‘weapons…’”
http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/15370498/detail.html

2. On a story about Thursday being the new Friday for college students:
“Ummm … what about Monday thru Wednesday????”
http://www.nwaonline.net/articles/2008/03/01/news/030208fznewfriday.txt

3. On the 2008 Miss Outdoors pageant, which includes muskrat skinning:
“Yeah, you know there are some ideas that seem good on paper … this one doesn’t even qualify as that …”
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/bizarre/5584958.html

4. On the heads of the biggest gas and electricity companies being ordered by the British Government to hand over part of their multi-billion pound profits:
“Seriously, shouldn’t this be happening in the United States, as opposed to the ridiculous amount of time being given to the steroids in sports issue?”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/02/npower102.xml

5. On almost one in 10 nurses thinking that starting a relationship with one of their patients is acceptable while one in six saying they knew of a colleague who had a sexual relationship with a patient they were looking after:
“Now THAT’S what I call health care!”
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/health/article3466786.ece

6. On a daycare teacher in being warned for giving cat food to the children:
“Parents started getting suspicious when their kids began coughing up hair balls …”
http://www.thelocal.se/10198/20080301/

7. On pet lovers learning 'mouth to snout resuscitation' in first-aid class:
“Hopefully, this won’t lead them to start feeding their kids cat food …”
http://www.ajc.com/printedition/content/printedition/2008/02/18/dogclass0218.html?cxntlid=inform