Topical Chat, March 7, 2007

The weather forecasters are predicting 2-4 inches of snow for tomorrow … so, we should either get absolutely nothing or a blizzard.

1. On a 22-year-old man being arrested for drug possession after police found a marijuana pipe and drugs stashed in his underwear:
“Hey, this isn’t your penis!!!”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070306/ap_on_fe_st/drugs_in_underwear_1

2. On a 12-year-old girl Cave Creek girl possibly facing criminal charges and other discipline after she was caught snapping a lewd photograph of herself (her meat-curtains) and sending the image to at least 10 other students:
“I thought Brittany Spears was already in her mid 20’s…”
http://www.azcentral.com/community/scottsdale/articles/0306sr-scandal0306-ON.html

3. On Canada's top CEOs announcing on Monday that they are creating a task force on climate change:
“This is like the leaders of NAMBLA and Michael Jackson looking to create rules against sexual harassment on children.”
http://www.am1220.ca/news/national/viewstory.php?story=n030570A.xml

4. On sixth graders having sex in class at a school in Indianapolis:
“Gives Dungeons and Dragons a whole new meaning.”
http://www.wthr.com/Global/story.asp?S=6180780&nav=9Tai?203

5. On three female students who were suspended after saying the word "vagina" during a reading at a John Jay High School open mic session – they were reading from The Vagina Monologues:
“Isn’t Political Correctness fun?”
http://www.thejournalnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070306/NEWS02/703060363/1018&GID=xi+6X4FdPrduoI2j4z90HCGbIVUKXnx7c7Gbd64k1iw=

6. On a woman who held up a bank with a box of baby wipes:
“What kind of bank is this, a ‘piggy-bank?’ … Get it? Because piggies are dirty animals … ah, nevermind.”
http://wcbstv.com/local/local_story_065071150.html

7. On skinny models complaining they're not getting work because they're too thin:
“Man, I feel … really … bad … for them.”
http://news.scotsman.com/opinion.cfm?id=346502007

8. On a 7-year-old girl who called 911 because she thought her grandfather was cheating during a family card game:
“I think in the law books, it states that in such a case, the cop is allowed to punch the grandfather in the tea-bag.”
http://www.fdlreporter.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070305/FON0101/70305064/1985