Topical Chat, February 23, 2007

Just an update for y’all – Anna Nicole is still dead, AND Brittany Spears is still crazy … you’re welcome.

1. On a mother slapped her 9-year-old boy and hit his head against a brick wall in front of a teacher, then dragged him in front of the class and invited his classmates to make fun of him:
“You are the weakest link … good-bye!”
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,253782,00.html

2. On a media watchdog group blasting the major news networks for failing to provide enough coverage of Anna Nicole Smith’s death in the 72 hours following the blonde bombshell’s passing:
“Of course, this watchdog group is looking for a new chairman, following the death of Anna Nicole.”
http://www.netscape.com/viewstory/2007/02/22/networks-criticized-for-lack-of-anna-nicole-coverage/?url=http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=6696&srch=&frame=true

3. On a salesman who was ordered to pay back more than $50,000 to an Atlanta-based software company that accused him of begging off work for months by falsely claiming his young son was stricken with cancer:
“This guy picked the wrong profession – he should’ve been a lawyer … scumbag.”
http://www.newsday.com/news/local/wire/newyork/ny-bc-ny--sickson-scam0222feb22,0,208317.story?coll=ny-region-apnewyork

4. On Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols saying that a high-ranking FBI official "apparently" was directing Timothy McVeigh in the plot to blow up a government building and might have changed the original target of the attack:
“He also stated that he invented the question mark.”
http://www.sltrib.com/SEARCH/ci_5271117

5. In a move that will stun the Muslim world, Sheikh Ali Gomaa, the Grand Mufti of Egypt and one of the highest-ranking Sunni authorities, has said that hymen reconstruction surgery for women who have lost their virginity before marriage is halal (permissible) and that a man has no right to demand proof of a woman's virginity if he cannot provide proof of his own:
“However, it is still apparently ok to strap bombs to oneself and blow up things.”
http://eteraz.org/story/2007/2/21/9248/13627

6. On two Reno roommates who summoned police to their home claiming to have held two burglars at gunpoint being arrested after officers said they found marijuana and drug paraphernalia, but no suspects in the south Reno home:
“I thought Pacman Jones’ posse was in Vegas …”
http://news.rgj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070222/NEWS01/702220355/1002/NEWS

7. On a New York politician who is pushing a congressional effort to grant Anne Frank honorary U.S. citizenship:
“Um …. Correct me if I’m wrong here, but isn’t she dead?”
http://www.newsday.com/news/local/longisland/ny-lianne0222,0,4340489.story?coll=ny-linews-headlines

8. On Documents showing that drugmaker Merck donated $50,000 to the governor of Texas the same week that the governor ordered a million Texan schoolgirls to get innoculated with an expensive Merck vaccine:
“On second thought, that salesman from the third story probably should become either the governor of Texas or a Merck rep.”
http://keyetv.com/topstories/topstories_story_053053516.html