Topical Chat, February 11, 2007

First “real” snowstorm of the season on the way in Philly … or at least that’s what our inept weather forecasters are reporting.

1, On a teacher that scared his students by announcing an asteroid was about to hit the earth:
“He later took them to the movies, where he proceeded to scream “fire” at the top of his lungs.”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/manchester/4025293.stm

2. On a truck spilling more than 165,000 eggs on a Virgina highway:
“The driver was probably not in the most “egg-shell-ent” of moods …”
http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/wire/sns-ap-eggs-road-spill,0,6812736.story?coll=sns-ap-nationworld-headlines

3. On the Girl Scouts of the Sierra Nevada presenting a townhall meeting to discuss the effects of methamphetamine addiction in girls in the community and some options available for help:
“Sounds to me like another feeble attempt to push their cookies on us … wait, that sounded kind of perverted … nevermind.”
http://news.rgj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070211/NEWS/702110379/1002/NEWS

4. On a second-grader at a New Haven school being charged with bringing packets of crack cocaine to school last week:
“Ah kids … they seem to be growing up right before our very eyes …”
http://1010wins.com/pages/231893.php?contentType=4&contentId=323304

5. On a woman who had a diamond ring made from the ashes of her dog:
“I call this particular ring Shep.”
http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200702/s1845008.htm

6. On two teenage Ohio girls posting a fake announcement on their school district's website that said school was closed for the day due to winter weather:
“Now this is the kind of tom-foolery that warms the heart!”
http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Oddities/070210/K021009AU.html

7. On a teacher who admits to snorting cocaine in front of her students:
“Now class, it’s time for my FAVORITE part of class, ‘Sniff and Tell!’”
http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/usworld/news-article.aspx?storyid=75670

8. On a report that says that imprisoning pot smokers in the U.S. costs us taxpayers about $1 billion annually:
“The good news is that it is less costly than that dang war in Iraq.”
http://www.alternet.org/rights/47815/