Topical Chat, January 18, 2007

Less than 2 months until St. Patrick’s Day …. Just sayin’.

1. On an escaped chimpanzee at the Little Rock Zoo raiding a kitchen cupboard and doing a little cleaning with a toilet brush before sedatives knocked her out on top of a refrigerator:
“I’m just wondering what the hell a toilet brush was doing in the kitchen … you know what, sometimes it’s better not to know …”
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2801088

2. On West Virginia authorities believing that birds may have caused an office fire:
“Authorities??? West Virginia??? Isn’t that an oxymoron?”
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2802646

3. On two Ohio boys who walked out of a Juvenile Detention Home and took a 12-mile joy-ride on a locomotive:
“So, when did Ohio State change its name?”
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2800162

4. On a Labradoodle who woke his owner and saved him from his burning cottage:
“You know, Labradoodle would be a great ‘replacement’ word for going to the bathroom.”
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2799340

5. On a North Dakota couple who were expecting a large baby, but ended up giving birth to three of them:
“Who was the doctor, Nick Riviera?”
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2799873

6. On thousands of gallons of sugar syrup leaving a sticky mess yesterday morning near Oakland, California:
“Are they sure it wasn’t Art Shell, former coach of the Raiders?”
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=bizarre&id=4936402

7. On the NFL planning to play a regular season game in London, England:
“Why do I get the feeling like this will go over about as well as a bucket of farts?”
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=bizarre&id=4936396

8. On a person who has been producing all-natural doughnuts for a dozen years at his Doughnut Plant in New York:
“That’s one way to keep the cops away ...”
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=bizarre&id=4936394