Topical Chat, March 2, 2007

Wow, March already? 2 months are complete already in 2007? Can somebody please apply the brakes?

1. On a man who can no longer feed himself claiming that an uncooked chicken burrito put him in a wheelchair:
“Colonel Sanders was unavailable for comment.”
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,255651,00.html

2. On a former Canadian defense minister saying that he believes advanced technology from extraterrestrial civilizations offers the best hope to "save our planet" from the perils of climate change:
“This is probably one of the reasons why he is the ‘former’ Canadian defense minister.”
http://www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/news/story.html?id=3e57926c-bfeb-4ff3-acf6-50c575ee996c

3. On a survey that reports that thousands of British children think cows lay eggs:
“I just found this story very a’moo’sing.”
http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13569871,00.html

4. On a man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs bringing a donkey to his room in a hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people:”
“So, I wonder why he had so much trouble meeting people in the first place …”
http://www.galwayfirst.ie/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=114&Item

5. On a ice cream man who was caught selling beer from his van outside a school:
“One unnamed school has offered him the principal position.”
http://icwales.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0200wales/tm_headline=--asbo-for-ice-cream-vendor-who-sold-beer-outside-school-gates&method=full&objectid=18690275&siteid=50082-name_page.html

6. On a substitute teacher who may lose her job because he cut the tongue of a 7-year-old student:
“I’m sure she was just doing it ‘tongue-in-cheek.’”
http://www.newsdaily.com/Quirks/UPI-1-20070228-00311700-bc-italy-tongue.xml

7. On The United Nations headquarters in New York being infested with rats, mice, worms and even salt-water eels:
“But enough about the diplomats…”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/03/01/wunrats01.xml

8. On a jazz musician who was injured Friday after jumping from a burning motor home driven by a one-time roller-skating stripper:
“Why do I get the feeling that Samuel L. Jackson will get the starring role when this makes it’s way to the silver screen?”
http://www.lodinews.com/articles/2007/02/25/news/4_motorhome_070224.txt