Topical Chat, March 22, 2007

So with all of these injuries to sports players happening in Philly, has anybody tried testing the water … or the steroids?”

1. On Michael Vick speaking publicly for the first time since the infamous water bottle incident at the Miami airport, revealing that he had jewelry and other valuables in the hidden compartment of the bottle:
“I had no idea they could make jewelry out of pot …”
http://www.11alive.com/sports/article_sports.aspx?storyid=94239

2. On Harry Houdini's great-nephew wanting to exhume the escape artist's body to determine if enemies poisoned his renowned relative for debunking their bogus claims of contact with the dead:
“I guess everybody has their ‘skeletons.’”
http://www.wnbc.com/news/11330893/detail.html

3. On Missouri state conservation officials no longer issuing permits to fish for catfish by hand, a practice known as noodling:
“Thankfully, Missouri has solved all the rest of the problems in this world so they could tackle this one.”
http://www.joplinglobe.com/statenews/local_story_081003326.html

4. On Ted Turner being asked about U.S. cooperation with China in global-greening efforts, and Turner told the crowd of 1,000 business and political leaders: "The Chinese are very smart. Just think: Have you ever met a dumb Chinaman?:”
“That explains the whole AOL-Time Warner merger.”
http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_5464963

5. On a film producer, who in the wake of a public outcry against Los Angeles billboards and New York taxicab tops advertising the upcoming movie "Captivity" with images of the abduction, torture and death of a young woman, saying it will take down the offending ads:
“Basically, because the outcry gave far more publicity to this movie than the billboards did … way to go public!”
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/20/film.captivity.reut/index.html

6. On Lindsay Lohan's mom saying that Britney Spears 'should have been better taken care of' by her mother:’
“That’s like Michael Jackson saying he’s offended by Phil Spector.”
http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/lohans%20mother%20britney%20should%20have%20been%20better%20taken%20care%20of_1025805

7. On St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa being arrested on a drunken-driving charge after police said they found him asleep inside his running sport-utility vehicle at a stoplight:
“Good to see Tony in mid-season form already.”
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/nl/cardinals/2007-03-22-larussa-charged_N.htm

8. On a man facing federal drug charges after he allegedly tried to smuggle about 250 pounds of hydroponic marijuana into the United States with his regular commercial shipment of frozen bagels:
“Hey pal, what did you do with the holes … “
http://www.buffalonews.com/108/story/37813.html