Topical Chat, March 16, 2007

Let March Madness begin!!!!!

1. On a new Pentagon report said some elements of the war in Iraq fit the definition of civil war, but the term "does not adequately capture the complexity of the conflict:”
“A more adequate phrase that fits the definition is ‘gates of hell.’”
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/03/15/iraq.main/index.html?fark

2. On a drunken German who was arrested after climbing into one of the emergency post boxes for unwanted babies:
“Ummm, so they have emergency post boxes for unwanted babies? Where is one supposed to mail them?”
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=41239&in_page_id=2

3. On a girl who tried to get money out of an ATM machine, when it ended up “eating her hand:”
“When ATM machines attack!”
http://www.wsmv.com/video/11253025/detail.html

4. On a burglary suspect who was arrested after he left behind a Corrections Department identification card he used to jimmy a lock:
“Must’ve been a Florida State grad.”
http://cbs11tv.com/nationalwire/ODD--InmateBurglar_a_a_-----/resources_news_html

5. On a man who was charged with open lewdness after he walked into a Wal Mart, grabbed women's clothing and other merchandise, masturbated on it all, then left, only to return again (and get caught):
“There are so many things wrong with this, but the part that seems to bother me most is this – why did he do this at a Wal Mart, and not at a Victoria’s Secret?”
http://www.mcall.com/news/local/all-b1_2walmartmar15,0,614060.story

6. On a Kentucky school district that eliminated "D"s from the grading scale, found that they were getting higher GPAs, and now proposes eliminating "C"s:
“All is still right with the world ss long as it’s still legal to sleep with your sister in Kentucky.”
http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007703141366

7. On a Korean children’s book that contains a chapter claiming Jews were the driving force for the hatred that led to the Sept. 11 attacks, that they exert control over all U.S. media and also prevent Korean-Americans from succeeding in the United States:
“The word ‘retarded’ comes to mind when reading this.”
http://english.pravda.ru/news/world/15-03-2007/88304-anti-semitism-0

8. On Maine's Morning Sentinel newspaper running a photo showing a lottery winner's name, address, telephone number, date of birth and Social Security number:
“Must’ve been a democrat.”
http://www.lotterypost.com/news/152791.htm