Topical Chat, April 16, 2008

I think I might have to mow my lawn for the first time in 2008 this weekend … damn!

1. On college students being made to sign contracts which may force them to throw away their scruffy jumpers and torn jeans:
“I’d be happy with them pulling those jeans above their ass-cheeks …”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=559647&in_page_id=1770&ito=1490

2. On Carmelo Anthony being pulled over for D.U.I.:
“Two words … Allen … Iverson …”
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/carmelomug1.html

3. On Eminem singing at Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday:
“Nothing screams Apartheid like Eminem.”
http://stuff.co.nz/4477793a4500.html

4. On a binge drinking girl who suffered liver failure at just 14:
“I thought Amy Winehouse was older …”
http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=559589&in_page_id=1770

5. On a dairy farmer who believes a happy cow is a productive cow discovering an unusual way to relax his herd and increase milk yields – tai chi:
“This guy is quite a- ‘moo’ –sing…”
http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=142597&in_page_id=34

6. On a 101-year-old marathoner, who took a break halfway through a marathon for a cigarette and a beer:
“He keeps that up, and he won’t live a day past 105!”
http://news.scotsman.com/latestnews/Marathon39s-no-sweat-if-you.3977250.jp

7. On Vidal Sassoon being hailed as an anti-fascist warrior-hairdresser:
“So, is this a compliment or put-down?”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/04/14/nsassoon114.xml