Topical Chat, July 30, 2007

I purchased Guitar Hero, 1980’s edition – just awesome!

1. On a schoolboy who has defied the odds and hatched a duckling from a box of eggs he bought from a supermarket:
“If you ask me, that boy is just plain ‘quackers.’”
http://www.independent.ie/world-news/box-of-freerange-eggs-turns-into-duck-1044216.html

2. On a guy who crashed his brand new super-yacht 30 seconds after it left dry dock:
“That’s what you get when you name Paris Hilton the captain.”
http://www.ybw.com/auto/newsdesk/20070623110954pbogeneral.html

3. On a bank that issues its customer service representatives a manual that explains how to hardball customers into giving up on their effort to seek refunds for bank overcharges unless they are "very ill or dying:"
“Of course, by the time you actually get your refund, there is a good chance you’ll either be ill or dying …”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=471549&in_page_id=1770&ICO=NEWS&ICL=TOPART

4. On a man whose wife's decomposing body was found in a storage room of their home saying he thought she had left him:
“Actually, officer, she smells better now that she’s dead …”
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5008392.html

5. On an Illinois town that has the largest ketchup bottle in the world deciding to build the worlds largest ketchup packet:
“Did ya ever have the feeling that you grew up in the wrong town?”
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/O/ODD_LARGEST_KETCHUP_PACKET?SITE=KFWB&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

6. On a 12-year-old boy who has taken to collecting vacuum cleaners - so far 165 of them:
“You know, that hobby really sucks …”
http://wcco.com/watercooler/watercooler_story_208223600.html

7. On an 88-year-old becoming an Eagle Scout:
“We might want to keep this story away from Michael Jackson …”
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/nation/5008485.html

8. On Walt Disney Co. shelving its plan to offer U.S. wine and rodent lovers a "Ratatouille Chardonnay" in honor of the star of its latest movie:
“The idea is just plain ‘Goofy,’ if ya aske me.”
http://www.sciencedaily.com/upi/index.php?feed=Business&article=UPI-1-20070728-11284400-bc-us-ratwine.xml