Topical Chat, July 4, 2007

I hope none of you blew off any of your fingers on Independence Day … can’t wait to read about all of the ones who did.

1. On a woman in New Mexico who tried to escape from jail guards using baby powder, cocoa butter and lots of socks:
“MacGyver would’ve been proud!”
http://robots.cnn.com/2007/US/07/04/sock.escape.ap/index.html

2. On a local microbrewery that has launched a beer for one of America's most recognizable rednecks: Larry the Cable Guy:
“Just one of these beers, and you start talkin’ like him.”
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/02/people.cableguy.beer.ap/index.html

3. On a Cook County jury ordering a man to pay $4,802 last week after he was sued by a husband from a Chicago suburb for stealing the affections of the man's wife:
“Um … isn’t this like prostitution?”
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/07/02/lost.love.ap/index.html

4. On Al Gore's son being arrested early Wednesday on suspicion of possessing marijuana and prescription drugs:
“The son immediately said that he invented drugs.”
http://cbs13.com/national/local_story_185123922.html

5. On Taiwan, after 14 failed attempts at joining the United Nations, turning to Ozzy Osbourne in its quest for membership to the world body:
“This may actually get Taiwan kicked off the planet.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070704/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_taiwan_ozzy;_ylt=An3lCWSIDgOOM9N6srMwuoGdk3QF

6. On beer-flavored ice cream - often made with splashes of hearty brews such as stout - becoming staples on dessert menus in brewpubs across the nation:
“I’m still waiting for Crest’s beer-flavored toothpaste to hit the market.”
http://www.cleveland.com/living/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/living-0/1183451879268360.xml&coll=2

7. On a Honolulu taxi driver being charged with attempted murder yesterday after he allegedly drove his car into a customer who declined to tip him for a ride:
“The City of New York immediately inquired about his services.”
http://www.honoluluadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070703/NEWS06/707030324/1010/NEWS06

8. On a Hong Kong woman who blinded her boyfriend in one eye in a fight six years ago, been jailed for jabbing a chopstick into his other eye:
Obviously, when it comes to girls, this guy has very poor vision …”
http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKHKG33247020070704?rpc=92