Topical Chat, July 2, 2007

I know it’s a few days early, about happy birthday, USA!

1. On an article that goes over the ten best ways to get back at your ex during a flood:
“This was apparently edited out of the bible some years ago.”
http://www.evesun.com/chenango-county/news-stories/2007-06-28/2172/Flood-2006-Cant-find-the-words

2. On a report saying that sharing housework is the key to a good marriage, far surpassing good sex, lots of money, and being faithful:
“I smell a sequel to ‘Fried Green Tomatoes’ on the horizon ...”
http://news.aol.com/story/_a/key-to-a-good-marriage-share-housework/n20070701002609990002

3. On the celebration of Canada’s 140th birthday:
“Eh. Happy birthday, hosers!”
http://winnipegsun.com/Comment/Editorial/2007/06/30/4304058.html

4. On a man attacking a peacock in a fast-food restaurant parking lot because he thought it was a vampire:
“This is probably a few drinks or hits past the point of where this guy should’ve called it a night … or morning.”
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/O/ODD_PEACOCK_ATTACKED?SITE=ORROS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

5. On a 105-year-old Cuban-born man who had one wish finally had it fulfilled — he became a U.S. citizen:
“He was so happy, that he swallowed his dentures, and soiled himself.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070630/ap_on_fe_st/odd_citizen_at105

6. On a mother who faces firearms charges after she allegedly drove her son's friends to a rival gang member's house to take part in a shooting:
“In parenting, this is what’s known as going the extra mile …”
http://www.dailymail.com/story/Nation%20and%20World/200706306/Police-say-mom-drove-sons-friends-to-gang-shooting/

7. On Marvel Comics burying Captain America:
“Great, now we have to rely on our government to save the world … sigh.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070630/ap_en_ot/captain_america;_ylt=Av8ZrkR56QJ8x8zFukJ.tWrMWM0F

8. On a South Carolina sheriff who was driving for so long on an expired license that he had to take a driver's test to get it back - and failed:
“Ya think he might’ve picked the wrong career?”
http://www.myrtlebeachonline.com/617/story/114370.html