Topical Chat, August 13, 2007

Happy unlucky Monday! Make sure not to walk under any ladders, cross the path of a black cat, or buy any dogs from Bad Newz Kennels.

1. On the death of talk show host, game show king and entertainment icon Merv Griffin:
“I think that Alex Trabek, Vanna White, and Pat Sajak should all chip in and throw him a nice burial/memorial.”
http://cbs13.com/topstories/topstories_story_223163105.html

2. On a megachurch canceling a memorial service for a Navy veteran 24 hours before it was to start because the deceased was gay:
“Funny, I always thought that churches were supposed to preach about tolerance, accepting of others who are different, and forgiveness … not hate, ignorance, and stupidity.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20070810/gay-funeral/

3. On a story that reports that burglars are now targeting local trailer parks in Yuma:
“Sounds like these burglars are really going for the big-time here … can ghettos be far behind?”
http://www.yumasun.com/onset?id=35809&template=article.html

4. On an alcoholic nine-year-old boy becoming Victoria's youngest prisoner:
“His last name wouldn’t happen to be Lohan, would it?”
http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/authorities-detain-nineyearold/2007/08/12/1186857319716.html

5. On a father who posed for a publicity picture in a desperate attempt to find the daughter he has not seen for ten years unaware she was just a few yards behind him:
“Does this guy have a nine-year-old alcoholic son as well?”
http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=iol1186837773690X000

6. On a 49-year-old man who bludgeoned his grandmother and great-aunt to death more than three decades ago leaving prison this week ready to settle down with his 88-year-old wife:
“I guess after spending 3-decades with nothing but men, you may be turned on by any female at this point … I’m guessing this probably won’t be made into a Disney movie, though.”
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8QUD1AG1&show_article=1&catnum=9

7. On a report that Beautiful people earn 12% more than ugly people:
“Then explain Drew Carey to me!”
http://news.independent.co.uk/sci_tech/article2856870.ece

8. On a homeowner being arrested after a burglar plunged from the balcony of his top-floor flat and later died in hospital:
“That’ll teach the homeowner to protect his possessions!”
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23407593-details/Homeowner+arrested+after+burglar+falls+out+of+a+third+floor+window/article.do