Topical Chat, January 9, 2008
Another day forward, and another step backward for major league baseball … I’m sure you’ll get it right someday … hopefully, you’ll still have enough fans who give a sh*t.
1. On a study that claims that if you have a birthmark, it means you received less oxygen in the womb:
“This big birthmark right under my ass means I probably should’ve called for “womb-service” when I was an embryo …”
http://www.scientificblogging.com/news_releases/study_birthmark_means_you_received_less_oxygen_in_the_womb
2. On an academic delegation of Columbia University professors and deans of faculties planning to visit Tehran to officially apologize to Iranian President Mahmud Ahmadinejad for the insulting remarks Columbia University President Lee Bollinger directed at Ahmadinejad:
“Here’s to hoping that the tickets are one-way tickets …”
http://www.mehrnews.ir/en/NewsDetail.aspx?NewsID=618008
3. On Tennessee State Sen. Doug Jackson, D-Dickson, saying he will introduce a bill today to allow persons with handgun carry permits to carry their weapons into establishments that sell alcohol:
“This is exactly why you should never leave the great state of Tennessee, sir …”
http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_119678.asp
4. On a school in Europe Catering that is taking the fingerprints of pupils at lunchtime to ensure they get the meals their parents want them to eat:
“Remember in grade school – once a month, the cafeteria had a menu item called ‘Chef’s special?’ What the hell was in this anyway?”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/essex/7176671.stm
5. On a calf born with the Virginia Tech logo on its head:
“Sadly, this calf is already smarter than half of the football team …”
http://www.11alive.com/news/watercooler/article_weird.aspx?storyid=109159
6. On a Missouri councilman who is proposing a cussing ban in bars:
“Here’s to hoping this guy never, ever gets re-elected.”
http://www.ksdk.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=137966
7. On a man who is planning on living in Ikea for an entire week:
“Now, this is a guy who’s future is about as bright as the dark side of the moon …”
http://blog.nj.com/jerseyblogs/2008/01/mark_lives_in_ikea_video_blogg.html
posted by Los @ 7:23 PM
3 guys/gals who rule
3 Comments:
1. Britney Spears' kids must have tons of birthmarks.
2. Useful idiots.
3. Sounds like a good way to prevent convenience store robberies.
4. Custom gruel ... yum.
5. Would a duck in Oregon be born wearing a hideous uniform?
6. Would he also ban the St. Louis Rams?
7. Hiding in the men's room at night?
A cussing ban?
That sounds sweet and so, so implausible.
1. A kid at school with an incredibly small dick claimed the midwife cut it instead of his umbilical chord. he got loads of girls by making them laugh before he dropped his trousers!
2. Let's hijack the plane and hit Tehran airport. Well you go and I'll cheer you on from a distance...
3. I know people who aren't safe boozing with a comb in their pocket..
4. If the chef's a paedophile do the fingerprints end up on his sausage?
5. My soccer team once had a resident rat that sat by a goalpost for all the 90 minutes
6. Tell him to go fuck himself
7. Is that just south of Glasgow?
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