Topical Chat, December 12, 2007
My fantasy football team, after an 0-3 start, has somehow made it to the semifinals … wish me luck!
1. On two journalists wearing “Al Qaeda Airline” uniforms walking into a Romanian airport and placing fake bombs onboard planes:
“Looks like the Romanian tourist board will be working overtime in 2008 …”
http://www.tv3.co.nz/News/Story/tabid/209/articleID/41154/cat/41/Default.aspx
2. On ESPN apologizing for an Internet poll asking if fans want to see Kevin Garnett blow out his knee:
“Other polls that ESPN is not apologizing for include whether fans want to see Barry Bonds’ head fall off, and whether fans want T.O.’s face punctured by a freight train …”
http://sportsbybrooks.com/espn-poll-asks-if-kevin-garnett-blows-out-his-knee-14967.php
3. On an Expert saying that breathing pollution in Utah is like smoking five cigarettes a day:
“Sadly, still nowhere near Los Angeles’ carton a day pollution …”
http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_7681061
4. On the widow of a professional skier from Bulgaria who drowned while kite-surfing off Long Beach West two years ago filing a negligence lawsuit against the town in U.S. District Court in Bridgeport - for negligence, carelessness and failure to have lifeguards on duty in the middle of winter:
“Another reason why people who bring in ridiculous lawsuits should be thrown in jail …”
http://www.connpost.com//ci_7662293
5. On a retail store near Baltimore not being responsible for a goose attack:
“This reminds me of probably the only good line to come out of Caddyshack 2, ‘Hey, have you ever putted with a wedgie?’”
http://wjz.com/local/goose.canada.lawsuit.2.607395.html
6. On former NFL QB Michael Vick getting 23 months in jail for his part in dog-fighting:
“Fortunately for the Falcons, he won’t be suiting up for them for at least 2 years …”
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3148549
7. On a man who has had to change the ringtone on his cell phone five times and will probably soon have to change it a sixth time because his blue-fronted Amazon parrot has learned to mimic them:
“That sounds awfully ‘bird-brained’ to me …”
http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=67052
8. On Jack Nicholson claiming he could’ve fathered as many as 9,000 kids:
“Sadly, his request for 9,000 season tickets for the Lakers has been denied …”
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article563379.ece
1. On two journalists wearing “Al Qaeda Airline” uniforms walking into a Romanian airport and placing fake bombs onboard planes:
“Looks like the Romanian tourist board will be working overtime in 2008 …”
http://www.tv3.co.nz/News/Story/tabid/209/articleID/41154/cat/41/Default.aspx
2. On ESPN apologizing for an Internet poll asking if fans want to see Kevin Garnett blow out his knee:
“Other polls that ESPN is not apologizing for include whether fans want to see Barry Bonds’ head fall off, and whether fans want T.O.’s face punctured by a freight train …”
http://sportsbybrooks.com/espn-poll-asks-if-kevin-garnett-blows-out-his-knee-14967.php
3. On an Expert saying that breathing pollution in Utah is like smoking five cigarettes a day:
“Sadly, still nowhere near Los Angeles’ carton a day pollution …”
http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_7681061
4. On the widow of a professional skier from Bulgaria who drowned while kite-surfing off Long Beach West two years ago filing a negligence lawsuit against the town in U.S. District Court in Bridgeport - for negligence, carelessness and failure to have lifeguards on duty in the middle of winter:
“Another reason why people who bring in ridiculous lawsuits should be thrown in jail …”
http://www.connpost.com//ci_7662293
5. On a retail store near Baltimore not being responsible for a goose attack:
“This reminds me of probably the only good line to come out of Caddyshack 2, ‘Hey, have you ever putted with a wedgie?’”
http://wjz.com/local/goose.canada.lawsuit.2.607395.html
6. On former NFL QB Michael Vick getting 23 months in jail for his part in dog-fighting:
“Fortunately for the Falcons, he won’t be suiting up for them for at least 2 years …”
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3148549
7. On a man who has had to change the ringtone on his cell phone five times and will probably soon have to change it a sixth time because his blue-fronted Amazon parrot has learned to mimic them:
“That sounds awfully ‘bird-brained’ to me …”
http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=67052
8. On Jack Nicholson claiming he could’ve fathered as many as 9,000 kids:
“Sadly, his request for 9,000 season tickets for the Lakers has been denied …”
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article563379.ece
posted by Los @ 7:08 PM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
1. CNN: the most busted name in news.
2. Need more Joe Theismann replays.
3. Desert dust twisters aren't as clean as they used to be.
4. She saw too much Baywatch.
5. Was the goose from Cleveland?
6. Prison team just got good.
7. Change it to Sam Kinison.
8. Jack the Stilt?
5) A goose once attacked my mother. Sadly she survived. The goose died of poisoning.
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