Topical Chat, December 5, 2007

Great … only Wednesday … it feels like this week may be the slowest week in the history of Earth.

1. On a retired assistant fire chief showing up for work naked:
“He ain’t gonna put out any fires with that hose …”
http://www.clumsycrooks.com/news/retired_assistant_fire_chief_shows_up_for_work_naked.htm

2. On a man who fled a traffic stop, went home, shaved his mustache and changed his clothes, and reported the truck he was driving as stolen:
“Why not go all the way and cut off your penis?”
http://www.davesdaily.com/out.php?id=35825&url=http%3A%2F%2Fapnews.myway.com%2Farticle%2F20071204%2FD8TAD4OG2.html

3. On an Italian court ordering Tweety bird, along with Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and his girlfriend Daisy, to testify in a counterfeiting case:
“This would be perfect for the next Muppet News Flash!”
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/12/04/cartoon.witnesses.ap/index.html

4. On a 65-year-old great-grandmother who is suing a Yonkers, N.Y., casino, alleging she was humiliated by being forced to submit to a strip search:
“OK, lady, you can now bend over, pick up your boobs, and put them back in your bra …”
http://archives.gophercentral.com/Bizarre_News_Grandma_Sues_Over_Strip_Search.html

5. On a $3,500 Gibson guitar that can tune itself:
“For $3,500, it better be a ‘three input’ guitar …”
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/bizarre/5349457.html

6. On an accounting mix-up leading to the wrong woman being crowned Miss California:
“Al Gore is really interested in the results …”
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/bizarre/5349689.html

7. On a man’s wedding band deflecting a bullet and saving his life:
“When reached for comment, the man replied, ‘finally, I found a good reason to be married …’”
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/bizarre/5346047.html