Topical Chat, November 7, 2007

We’re supposed to get our first “wintry mix” this Friday night into Saturday … just in time for the Penn State football tailgate … sigh.

1. On police being called in to subdue an unruly third-grader:
“I wonder which version of “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” they played …”
http://www.thestarpress.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071106/NEWS06/71106015

2. On China building the world’s largest Ferris Wheel:
“No word on the lead count and salmonella that will be used to build this puppy …”
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/world/20071105-0348-china-greatwheel.html

3. On a man being arrested for drug possession after telling authorities that two masked gunmen had stolen 150 pounds of marijuana from his home:
“In an unrelated story, Marion Barry now has 150 more pounds of marijuana …”
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/headline/metro/5277115.html?facepalm

4. On a UK law which prohibits people from dying while in the Houses of Parliament:
“Punishment must be a life-sentence …”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7081038.stm

5. On a toy that won the Australian Toy of the Year award this year being recalled because it contains small beads that are filled a glue the body metabolizes into GHB - as in gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid, a party drug popular among ravers:
“Hmmph, no wonder it won the Toy of the Year award … was it being sold by Michael Jackson Inc.?
http://consumerist.com/consumer/someone-think-of-the-children/popular-australian-toy-filled-with-ghb-319277.php

6. On the "Gamerator," a full-size MAME (arcade) cabinet with a refrigerated interior that holds a pony keg that releases a stream of malty beer from a tap in front:
“This may be the greatest single idea since … well folks, I’m stumped …”
http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2007/11/05/gamerator-arcade-cab.html

7. On a teenager in Mascoutah, Ill who is serving two detentions for hugging a fellow classmate:
“Affection will NOT be tolerated … dammit!!!!!”
http://www.ksdk.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=133486

8. On a woman who leaned over a train station platform to puke getting hit by a train:
“This might be in the top 5 of places not to puke …”