Topical Chat, November 26, 2007

Only a few days after Thanksgiving, and already rabid Christmas shoppers have succeeded in taking me out of the Christmas spirit.

1. On the Department of Corrections saying it is extremely sorry a convicted killer ended up living next door to the daughter of the woman he stabbed to death:
“Sounds like this has the makings of a sitcom for ABC’s “TGIF.”
http://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/newsdetail1.asp?storyID=128080

2. On the day after Thanksgiving being by far the busiest day of the year for plumbers:
“Time to enjoy dinner a second time …”
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stlouiscitycounty/story/10263E889B853B1A8625739D0011BB9C?OpenDocument

3. On a man who was sentenced to 90 days in jail for “pleasuring” himself while sitting on the roof of cars, including a BMW on display at a Home and Garden Show:
“If Michael Jackson had his own team of super heroes, this guy would be a member.”
http://www.edmontonsun.com/News/Edmonton/2007/11/23/4680885.html

4. On a bear at a private zoo who bit a participant in a program for budding zookeepers and scratched a person who tried to help:
“Sounds like those participants “bear-ly” made it out alive!”
http://www.denverpost.com/nationworld/ci_7541785

5. On a man who was upset with his wife for not buying beer taking vengeance by shooting the family's two pet goats:
“Shouldn’t this have happened AFTER the beer was ‘ingested?’”
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=bizarre&id=5779020

6. On Hulk Hogan’s wife filing for divorce:
“Watcha gonna do, when your wife takes half your money from you?”
http://www.tmz.com/2007/11/23/hulk-and-wife-headed-for-divorce-court/

7. On a sculptor who donated 700 Hawaiian shirts to a school:
“I had no idea Jimmy Buffet was a sculptor!”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21851134/