Topical Chat, September 26, 2007

So, that jackass Iranian president visited the United States this week … I wonder, did Hitler ever visit the States?

1. On a report that says the Twinkie shares ingredients with shampoo and rocket fuel:
“So, what you’re saying is that I could technically shower with a Twinkie, and then fill my gas tank with it?”
http://wcbstv.com/consumer/local_story_268155737.html

2. On Philadelphia Mayor John Street announcing an aggressive new city plan to go after tax scofflaws … of course, he was one of those “scofflaws,” owing nearly $5,000:
“Sometimes it amazes me that he was elected mayor on two occasions …”
http://www.philly.com/philly/hp/news_update/20070925_Look_who_didnt_pay_his_taxes.html

3. On Kiefer Sutherland being busted on suspicion of DUI in West Hollywood on Tuesday morning after failing a field sobriety test.:
“This would never happen to Jack Bauer …”
http://www.myfoxny.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=CAE6B26DF8B76792490A41D11EF2E08E?contentId=4453415&version=11&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1’

4. On a man who proposed to his girlfriend in NYC's beautiful and scenic Central Park .... and then got mugged:
“Ummm ….. hey, it’s good luck …”
http://apnews.myway.com//article/20070925/D8RS5QG80.html

5. On a Croatian motorbike rider who was knocked unconscious when lightning struck his penis during a roadside toilet break:
“Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, ‘pissing lightning .’”
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22478633-13762,00.html

6. On a girl who got a mysterious life-threatening disease from a tongue piercing:
“Yeah, it’s called Chronic Stupid.”
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/6420AP_WA_Piercing_Ordeal.html

7. On a Muslim dentist who insisted that a young woman wear an Islamic headscarf before he would agree to treat her for a toothache:
“How’s about I kick you in the balls, instead?”
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article2525858.ece

8. On a man and woman who found out they weren't legally married because the minister didn't sign the correct line of the marriage license – now the man is suing his wife over the error:
“Sounds like these two won’t need marriage counseling after all …”
http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/14189375/detail.html