Topical Chat, September 14, 2007

Man, midway through September already? We’ll be shoveling snow before ya know it!

1. On a woman who was arrested for "punishing" a 14-year-old neighbor boy for making noise playing basketball by stripping naked and sunning herself in front of him:
“Um … unless this woman had a penis, this probably wasn’t the best of punishments …”
http://www.fresnobee.com/384/story/136693.html

2. On the U.S. Postal Service presenting its new 41-cent stamp hailing jury duty:
“Can a stamp commemorating the death penalty be far behind?”
http://www.washingtontimes.com/article/20070913/METRO/109130059/1004/metro

3. On a man who was fed up with burglars deciding to booby trap his house with pipe bombs – and then getting blown up by one of them:
“Sadly, this man was NOT Michael Jackson …”
http://www.lsj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070913/NEWS01/709130355

4. On the Minneapolis City Council holding public hearing to ban circus animals:
“Of course, this city is in the same state that elected Jesse Ventura as Governor.”
http://www.startribune.com/462/story/1419382.html

5. On a Common Council member criticizing the Albany Public Library for handing out water pistols as prizes for students who read four books this summer:
“I think we may have found the new chief of the Fun Police …”
http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=621602&category=ALBANY&BCCode=&newsdate=9/13/2007

6. On residents of the Margot's Pond community being told by their homeowners association to keep the grass green, despite record-setting drought conditions:
“One of the many reasons I will never live in a town house …”
http://www.newsobserver.com/news/story/695176.html

7. On a report that eating meat being partially responsible for global warming:
“Well, as long as masturbation is o.k. …”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070913/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_climate_meat

8. On a 16-year-old boy who told detectives he killed his parents because he didn't want to disappoint them anymore:
“Maybe not the most recommended ways to stop disappointing your parents …”
http://www.local6.com/news/14097780/detail.html